Asha remembers
by lil secret
Summary: The title says it all MaxAlec


Disclaimer: Dark Angel does NOT belong to me so please don't sue!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
It was well past midnight but the streets of Seattle refused to be abandoned. People, both young and old were crowding the streets, celebrating the joyful days of Christmas. It had been so long since the streets were so after the pulse. They even managed to put Christmas lights along some of the main roads.  
  
But unlike the rest of Seattle, there was one lone stranger, who after 5 years decided to come back to this broken city. Gradually excluding herself from the festive activities, Asha sat alone in the long abandoned apartment in Foggle Towers. The apartment looked exactly the same as it had when it was occupied except it lacked something, life. Dust had gathered to form a protective layer against the harsh treatment of the outside world. The darkness seemed to have no effect on Asha for her mind had wandered to those fateful days, 5 years ago. A tear trailed down her left cheek as the memories she had tried so hard to suppress flashed before her.  
  
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"Logan it's over!"  
  
"Max you don't mean that"  
  
"Yes I do"  
  
"But we've cured the virus like we've always wanted" Logan cried desperately.  
  
"I know and I'm glad but I just want to be friends"  
  
"It's cos of him isn't it" Logan stated, his voice laced with contempt.  
  
"Yes, no. Look all I know is that I don't love you anymore if I ever did".  
  
"So you're saying you never loved me?" Logan's voice hardened.  
  
"I do love you just not like that" desperation seeping through her voice.  
  
"Oh I see, you just took pity on the cripple!" Logan replied with venom.  
  
"No! I." Max shouted, her face aghast, how could he think such a thing after everything I've done for him?  
  
"Save it! Just leave me," he cried pityingly, before turning to his computer.  
  
"I'm sorry Logan, I really am" She whispered before walking away. Tears fell silently down her face, grieving for the friendship that could've been.  
  
'So am I' he thought 'so am I' as he lifted his newly acquired gun from his draw. With a grim smile, Logan headed towards the door and after her. Normally it would've been almost impossible to follow the X5, but he knew exactly where she was headed and to who.  
  
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"Hey Boo" OC greeted her friend.  
  
"Hey," Max slumped into the seat in front of her.  
  
"So how'd it go?" OC inquired.  
  
"He got the cure" Max stated simply.  
  
"That's great Boo, but why does OC get the feelin' you ain't happy?"  
  
"I am, I mean I won't have to worry about him dyin' every time I sneeze. It's just. You should've seen him when I told him how I really felt. He couldn't even look at me. He had all these hopes and I." Max cried, falling deeper into depression.  
  
"No Boo. You've always put everyone else before you. Now OC knows that's the kind a girl my Boo is but that don't mean you should ruin your happiness for the likes of him. Now he should be happy that OC ain't brought the smack down on his ass for hurtin' my girl!" OC stated firmly.  
  
Max couldn't help but smile at her friend's loyalty.  
  
"So, what're you gonna do bout hot boy, now that the roller boy drama's over?"  
  
"OC!" Max cried.  
  
"What? It is isn't it? An don't give OC the crap on you two ain't bein' like that cos even a blind man could see it!"  
  
"Well, I don't know if he sees me like that. I mean I don't blame him, I've treated him like crap since I met him and ."  
  
"That you have Boo but he ain't given you a reason not to. And anyway he ain't gone anywhere has he so you ain't got nothin' to worry about".  
  
"I hope you're right cos I don't think I could handle it if he didn't" Max admitted.  
  
"Don't worry Boo, OC ain't never wrong bout these things. Now spill, What happened with you an pretty boy on that mission?"  
  
"Nothing" Max cried.  
  
"Mmhmm" OC sipped her drink.  
  
"OK, we kissed but that's all" Max stated quickly.  
  
"An you kept that from OC? So how was it? Come on spill?  
  
"It was ." Max stared out dreamily just by the thought of it.  
  
"That good?" OC cried out in surprise.  
  
Max just nodded.  
  
"So then what?"  
  
"Nothing" she stated dejectedly.  
  
"Nothing?" OC asked.  
  
"He apologised and wouldn't look at me the whole time we were there" Max slumped further into her seat.  
  
"Well you can't blame him Boo, he thought you were with Logan."  
  
"I guess you're right but still, what if he doesn't think of me like that?" Max asked.  
  
"He does Boo, I seen the way he looks at you and he kissed you right? So you got nothin' to worry about."  
  
Max smiled. She was glad that she had OC to talk to, she always managed to make her feel better.  
  
"But I still can't believe you kept this from me!"  
  
"I'm sorry OC, it's just that with Logan an everything I was confused. I just didn't know how to tell you when I didn't know myself." Max admitted.  
  
"It's okay Boo, OC forgives ya" She stated sincerely. "Now when are you gonna tell Alec how you feel?"  
  
"I don't know? I don't want to ruin our friendship."  
  
"Yeah I know you two seem to be getting on well together"  
  
"He still annoys the hell out of me but."  
  
"But?"  
  
"But I wouldn't have it any other way" Max admitted, she seemed to be doing that a lot.  
  
"I know Boo"  
  
"You do?" Max was a little surprised at her answer, how did OC know when it had only just became apparent to her.  
  
OC smiled, it was obvious to everyone that there was something between these two, even Sketchy saw it. Her Boo was just to blind to notice.  
  
OC hated doing this to her friend but she needed to. "What did you tell Logan?"  
  
"The truth. I told him that I never loved him and that I want to be friends"  
  
"I'm sorry Boo"  
  
"No need. I thought if I told him that I never loved him, I'd be lying but when I told him I felt bad, but I realised I meant it."  
  
OC was surprised at this, she expected Max to be crying and well at home. But here she was at the Crash, not crying.  
  
"Not that I'm complaining or anything but what are you doing here shouldn't you be at home and well upset?"  
  
" I am upset, but that's because I lost a friend not because I lost the love of my life. I realise that now and I don't want to waste the rest of my life going on about it."  
  
"Here, here. You've spent far too long moping over him when there's more pretty fish in the sea"  
  
Max grinned.  
  
"Now tell OC why you're really here?"  
  
Max should've known that she couldn't keep anything from her friend.  
  
"Alec told me to meet him here" Max said sheepishly.  
  
"Mhm"  
  
"What?" Max cried innocently.  
  
"Here I was thinkin' he didn't think of you like that?"  
  
Max eyes widened.  
  
"Only kiddin' Boo" she smiled.  
  
"You don't mind if I leave you here, it's just that I've seen a fine lookin' honey and I."  
  
"It's okay, you go have fun"  
  
Max smiled as OC made her way to the cute blonde at the bar. She was just about to get herself a drink when she heard a familiar voice.  
  
"Leaving so soon?"  
  
Max looked up to see Alec with a playful smirk.  
  
"Why do I need permission?" She replied tartly, then mentally slapped herself for saying it.  
  
"Jeez I was only askin', no need to bite my head off" Alec muttered as he started to turn away. Max quickly caught his arm before he could move away,  
  
"Sorry, it's just that I had a crappy day"  
  
"So you thought you'd take it out on me?"  
  
"Yes, no. Will you stop twisting what I."Max stopped as she saw him smirking.  
  
"Ha ha very funny" Max punched him lightly.  
  
"What?" he replied with mock hurt, baring a face of innocence.  
  
"So you just gonna stand there or what?" Max asked, motioning towards the chair.  
  
"Why Maxie, You askin'?"  
  
"No" She answered a little too quickly for Alec's liking, "I mean if you want, you don't have to" she answered a little insecurely.  
  
"Not too sure of yourself are you Maxie" Alec teased.  
  
"Fine, if you're gonna act like ass I may as well go" Max snapped as she got up to leave.  
  
"I was only kiddin', see" he stated quickly as he sat down in front of her. Max hesitated before she too sat down.  
  
"Maxie"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Do you uh wanna go out, somewhere?" Alec asked nervously, which was so not like him. Why was it when it came to Max and askin' for summit he had to go all well, unalecy like, if there was such a word?  
  
"Sure" Max answered a little too quickly for her own liking, God do I sound desperate or what?  
  
"With me?" Alec asked hesitantly, you never knew with Max.  
  
"Well that was the idea but if you don't wanna."  
  
"No, no just makin' sure that's all" he interrupted before she could get out of it.  
  
"Not too sure of yourself are you Alec?" she teased.  
  
Alec made a face.  
  
"So you comin' or what" she asked, getting up ready to leave.  
  
"Nah, I'm fine right here!" he said sarcastically.  
  
"Suit your self" Max said as she walked away, trying to keep the disappointment from showing.  
  
"Hey wait up!" Alec cried before coming out beside her.  
  
Max tried to stop the grin from showing on her face, she knew that he'd come. After telling OC not to wait up, Max and Alec headed out of the Crash.  
  
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Watching the two leave Crash, laughing and touching, brought out something which Logan had tried so hard to suppress. Rage, complete and utter rage. After years of controlling himself, he comes and ruins it all! But no matter, after tonight I'll get it back, I'll get her back.  
  
Hidden in the shadows, Logan watched as they headed down the street on foot. Thankful that they had not decided to ride Max's Ninja, he walked after them, as stealthily as his exoskeleton let him. Even the whirring sound was at a minimum.  
  
It was harder than he expected they weren't going to their normal hangouts, but were walking aimlessly through the streets of Seattle. Yet somehow Logan seemed to be able to follow them at a safe distance without being spotted.  
  
Both of them were oblivious to their surroundings, never mind someone following them. Max seemed to be laughing at everything Alec said. Something he never thought possible. Although Logan couldn't clearly hear what the conversation was about he had an inkeling that the direction it was heading was not good for him. They still fought of course but it was now friendlier and there was something behind it, which he couldn't quite put a finger on.  
  
Jealousy coursed through his veins, it should be him touching her, laughing with her, kissing her, loving her. Logan not Alec, after all she was his first.  
  
They stopped inside a dark alleyway, Max's giggling could be heard, something he never witnessed before. Seeing it as a lapse of insanity, Logan brushed it off and watched intently on the scene unfolding before him. Anger took hold of him like a vice grip. Alec had his back towards him and was leaning down towards Max and was kissing her.  
  
How dare he kiss her! Logan seethed. Without thinking he brought out his gun and fired.  
  
It had been a week since it happened. Seven days since the love of my life had been ripped from my arms. I can still feel him when I close my eyes. Sometimes I'd dream about him, then wake up thinking he was still with me. But then I'd remember and it felt like it happened all over again.  
  
It wasn't fair. Why did the world hate her so much? Why did it take everything and everyone she loved? Couldn't they see her happy?  
  
But I've had enough. I can't go on. Not without you. I thought I could be strong. I 'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me, I have to be with you. I know I promised but I can't. I wanted to find who took you from me but I can't. I'm tired of pretending. Tired of telling everyone I'm okay when the truth is I'm dying inside. Every second feels like an eternity. It even hurts when I breathe. I have nothing left here. Joshua's done what he could but he's not you. He's in TC now, where he should be.  
  
Max stood up and walked to the edge. Not bothering to look down, she turned around so that the heels of her shoes were touching the edge of the needle. She closes her eyes and smiles. I'm coming, Alec, I'm coming.  
  
The woman called Max took one step back and fell. The force of gravity did its job.  
  
Logan was sitting in front of his computer like he normally did. Staring at the empty screen before him, he started to cry.  
  
Quickly wiping his tears, he picked up the ringing phone beside him.  
  
"OC what's wrong?"  
  
"Calm down, she'll be okay. This is Max we're talking about, she wouldn't do that"  
  
"Look Alec is gone but she can cope, it's not like there was anything between them"  
  
"No, I didn't mean that. What I'm trying to say is that she needs time to sort herself out."  
  
"What letter?"  
  
"She sent one to me?" Logan was surprised at this. she hadn't even talked to him since that night. At first he thought she had found out. But after speaking to OC he had concluded that she hadn't.  
  
"I'll see what I can do" putting the phone down, he thought about the hysterical OC. Max wouldn't do that would she?  
  
Getting up from his seat, he walked up to his door and there on the floor was an envelope addressed to him. The handwriting belonged to Max.  
  
A feeling of dread crawled into his stomach and stayed there.  
  
Opening it he read the letter inside it.  
  
Dear Logan,  
  
I know I haven't spoken to you since that night at your apartment and I'm really sorry. I never got to thank you for being there for me, you've been a good friend to me. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but I do love you, you accepted me for who I was not what I was. I'm sorry that things never worked out between us, but it was for the best, I was never in love with you but I did love you.  
  
This is hard, you know .I never was any good with words. But the reason I wrote this letter is to say thank you for everything you did for me and to say goodbye.  
  
I wish I could say this to your face but I can't it's too hard. I can't even say this OC. I tried to talk to you before but I didn't have the courage to face you.  
  
I know you'll understand why I did this, why I had to go. I love him more than life itself. That's why I can't stay here, I have to go to him. I wish I knew who took him from me so that I could show them that they've succeeded in killing me too.  
  
But I can't be unhappy now I'm going to him. I know you'll be okay, I know you'll be strong, you always were. That's why I'm asking you one last favour, please look out for OC and Joshua, they won't understand why.  
  
I guess this is goodbye for real. Funny, I never expected to get the chance.  
  
Max  
  
Dropping the letter to the ground, Logan walked back to his computer and sat down. Staring at the blank screen once again. A tear fell down his left cheek. Picking up the gun from the draw, he shot himself in the head.  
  
It would be a week until someone found the body.  
  
Letting go of the memories, Asha got up and said goodbye for the last time. It had been her who found him. She had came to surprise him but it didn't end that way.  
  
When she learnt about Alec and Max a day later, she was devastated. But what made it worse was the fact that the Police found evidence that it was Logan who had murdered Alec. A diary entry said it all, how his jealousy consumed him and led for him to become a killer. Little did he know that his actions caused the death of the woman he loved and himself.  
  
Looking back once more, Asha walked away.  
  
  
  
AN: This was my first attempt at angst and I don't think I did very well, but never mind. Sorry about not updating my other story but I am going to get there.  
  
Anyway R+R 


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